ABOUT GOING OUT

DURING THE HOLIDAYS I DIDNT REALLY MESS AROUND LIKE I THOUGHT I WOULD DO. I HAD LOTS OF FUN YEAH BUT NOW IM WORSE THAN BEFORE. I FEEL LIKE SHIT. I DONT FEEL LIKE MY LIFE IS SHIT. I FEEL LIKE IM THE STUPIDEST SHITTIEST PERSON I EVER BEEN. I COULD DO ANYTHING. MY LIFE COULD BE BRILLIANT.
WHEN IM OUT LATELY I DONT FEEL ANYTHING BUT DESPAIR.
WHAT DO I MISS? HIM? FOR THE FIRST TIME I THOUGHT I WOULDNT CARE AND NOW I KNOW THAT HE PROPABLY CARED I CARE EVEN MORE. IM GONNA TELL MY PSYCHOLOGIST TOMORROW....
NOW IM HAPPY IM BUSY THIS WEEK AND THEN WELL SEE WHAT GETS STARTED AT THE WEEKEND. I CANT STAND BEEING LONESOME.