THE IMPORTANCE OF BEING REAL (AND EYES)

PEOPLE ( INCLUDING ME !) SHOULD STOP ACTING ON PURPOSE TO MAKE PEOPLE AROUND THINK SOMETHING.
THEY ( ME AS WELL ) SHOULD LOOK STRAIGHT IN EACHOTHERS FACES AND JUST BE REAL/ HONEST/ WHATEVER. I KNOW VERY LESS PEOPLE THAT ARE REAL LIKE REAL. PEOPLE ARE STRANGE AND SO AM I. FOR EXAMPLE IF YOURE AFRAID TO BE TOO NICE. NOT EVEN SHY. JUST INSECURE. I DONT WANNA BE ASHAMED OF WHAT I FEEL OR THINK, I JUST WANNA BE ABLE TO SAY IT OUT LOUD.

CONTEXT:
staurday night. id say it was one of the most amazing nights of my life. as i had just so much fucking fun with s (the dj) and j and j and her new boyfriend m. but....... i met t (the dude i fucked in a toilette) and we met again later in the saloon and had a talk. i was very drunk and so was he. anyways: we sat down he buyed me a drink. he took my hand, told me things i cant remember. he def. said he likes me a lot and something about that hes smaller than me (its true). then we kissed. felt like half an hour... i think i didnt say anything back, just smiled and leant my head on his shoulder. - when i went outside i saw j (bestie) and him sitting there and as i looked over they started to kiss. it was a short kiss and they soon saw me and looked at me rather scared. i didnt show any anger. but i was. hurt kinda. he joined us at j´s place. s as well, we slept in a bed with 4 people. in the morning t was a piece of shit kinda. sleeping all the time? really? i feel like he ignored me. he didnt even say goodbye.
well. thing is: i cant say i have any strong feelings for him as i feel kinda headfucked. like hes fucking with me. (mental)
so i dont wanna do this anymore. this only snogging thing. i need to kinda clear this. awkward :( but i think hes propably thinking the same as i do. so im gonna text him via facebook???!!!